Hi everyone
Yup, I shall be 80 in June 2026! I usually say, and how did that happen? I will try not to! Ha!
So, what is my attitude to turning 80? Hmmm. Well, first of all, when one is younger you think 60 is beyond old – so 80 is altogether another matter as that’s absolutely ancient! But what do I truly think?
First of all, I do think that society sees 80 as a mighty age. And that here in the Western world that is a problem, because there is a way of looking and thinking about the 80+ as i) frail and ii) if not frail, then there is nothing but decline for you thereafter. In a nutshell, we are not revered and respected as elders of the nation, we are a problem to be solved.
Do you think this is me being negative? Well, perhaps that is so, but over the last year I certainly have experienced much ageism from the medical profession. That letter to the GP surgery is bubbling away on the back burner, and just waiting for certain appointments with private consultants to end.
So yes, I believe that society is ageist. But what is my attitude?
Well, just recently I received compliments (from two different professionals and a friend) that I have a great complexion. And they didn’t even say, for my age! And the ENT consultant when I described the usual amount of steps I take daily (Between 5 and 7000, sometimes 8000. And that’s daily.) and the hilly streets I climb without being breathless, plus the Personal Trainer I have sometimes twice a week, and instead of interrupting me and saying, ‘oh, but you are frail’, the consultant said, ‘yes, I can see you are strong’.
WHAT a difference that makes to one’s sense of self and being.
Consequently, I do feel really positive about myself, especially as I have made some improvement in the balance issue. It’s not much but it is a start. And therefore I have decided to acknowledge my 80th year and my 80th birthday with a ‘thing’ that I have seen on several blogs quite recently. What I am going to do, and have already begun, is make a list, because:
I WILL CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY BY DOING 80 NEW THINGS!
Yes, 80!!!
These 80 things will be divided up into 8x 10 things and I have already decided on 7 of these. Perhaps you could help me with suggestions for the last category. The list is:
10 new art galleries – we keep going to the same ones, so time to break out of that habit
10 new places to visit – could be anywhere
10 new outfits – oh go on, I have to include something about clothing and style!
10 letters to be written – these are letters to people to say how much they mean to me. We often don’t say important things to people. We think that they know. But perhaps they don’t. So, I am writing my thoughts about them so they do know. These are going to both family and friends.
2 ear piercings and 4 prs of earrings – yay!
10 new talks/lectures/presentations – I used to go to a lot of these and since Covid, they’ve just dropped by the wayside as the saying goes. I really relish hearing intelligent people discussing all sorts of issues. I shall seek these out with glee.
10 pieces of music – I think I’ve shocked people before, by saying that music doesn’t mean all that much to me as I prefer to i) look and ii) listen to the spoken word. I shall seek out more music and really, really listen to it.
And another 10? I did think of 10 new book and films but these are the things that I do/see/watch all the time. I need to find something to get me slightly out of my comfort zone or just do something new. I would really, really welcome any ideas from you.
Also what do you think of yourself as you age. I’m truly interested. It is so easy to say those awful phrases, like, ‘age is just a number’ – oh yeh! Or ‘you’re only as young as you feel’.
And to that last one I say, what if you feel utterly crap and/or in pain – huh? Because that has been the reality for me over this last year. But, dear readers, I have dragged myself out of that particular pit and now is the time to look forward and not only suck it up, but realise that, of course, to age is a privilege. But. As I am sure you all know, this ageing lark sure ain’t for softies!
A couple of photos here to remind you that winter coats are beginning to be worn although it is still unseasonably warm in the south of England.
That’s a photo taken early this year.
I believe the temperature is going to drop over the weekend, so I shall wear this coat.
And that’s really all for now, but thank you so much for reading to the end.
Love PennyX
Hi Frances: I am writing as one who is not far behind you (I will be 76 in 2026). I recently listened to a “young adult” novel, Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne-Jones, and the story really spoke to me. The Witch of the Waste turns Sophie, the lovely 18 year old heroine, into a 90 year old woman. Initially she bemoans her fate, but she also acknowledges that, for 90, she still can do a lot (lots of commentary about aging! ). The book was recommended by the New York Times to read in our time of troubles here in the United States and a comment by an 84 year old British woman made me read the book. (Time of troubles is an understatement-cruelty and chaos beyond belief) Thank you for all your insightful writing about so many interesting issues, aging being one. It is fun to receive a compliment about ones’ complexion!
Thanks Mary and fascinating to hear that the YA novel Howl’s Moving Castle has much to say about ageing. I think I’ve seen the film of this, but it was ages ago and so I can’t remember that. Anyway, I am going to buy the book immediately!
So very sorry about your time of troubles. Which we watch aghast and just hope that a little replica of it doesn’t go full steam ahead here with that utterly vapid Nigel Farage and his awful little party, Reform – which astonishingly is gaining a lot of traction here. Mind you, Labour has been hopeless and indeed what complicates things is we now have a 5 party system instead of a a 2 party and that really will help the rightward drift. And yet I have hope with your latest elections. Mandami, is just amazing, but fingers crossed he can manage New York – as that’s a big job. But there is hope.
I will now stop my political thoughts!
Thanks so much for your comment Mary, which is much appreciated 😊
I turned 80 this year and felt reasonably ok with it until I was reminded of my mortality by the deaths of so many women and men who were my contemporaries and style icons. I wont list them as I am sure you will be familiar with all these beautiful, talented people. It has had a strange effect on me so I was so pleased to read your forward looking blog and look forward to reading of your achievements and fulfillments. Best wishes going forward.
I have a list at the back of my daily to-do notebook, and in it I write down all my friends, friends’ husbands (3 died last year) and Bill’s friends who have died. I began it during the beginning of Covid, but no-one died of that, nearly all are cancers. And there are 15 people on it. I am always amazed when friends tell me they know of perhaps one or two who have died. So I truly ought to know that ageing is a privilege. And yet I also believe in being real, and facing what is coming.
Hence the new list which is to break out of doing much of the same, and embrace the new. I might as well 😁
I think it is good to be aware and then again it is good to look forward and do stuff! Thanks Carole for sharing your thoughts 😊
What about 10 new activities, could be an exercise class, beauty treatment, crafting.
Made me think I need to do challenge for 65. Suggestions welcome.
Nicola
Do you know, that is the one I am adding to the list. I will say in the next blog what I intend to do for those new activities.
Yay and thanks so much Nicola – you absolutely nailed it 😊
Great blog today, Penny.
I enjoyed the 80 things that you plan to do – I would include walks and tours to new and exciting places. I look at ageing not as a number – as an experience. I look forward to what each new day brings to me.
I look forward to reading your next article – reminding ourselves that ageism is never in style.
Well, I thought, why not and actually I should break out of the old habits of always going to the same art galleries for example.
I’ve decided to go with the 10 new experiences and in the next blog will say what I want to achieve.
Thanks Cindy and indeed ageism is never in style 😊
Hello Penny, yes winter coats and boots out next week.
I love your cheerful yellow coat – why black coats in winter I ask myself.
I agree with you that aging isn’t for softies what with an ageist society to deal with and the emotional well-being challenges.
I am lucky to be a relatively fit 72 year old and as of yet haven’t really experienced some of the problems ( not sure that’s the correct word) that age can bring.
I applaud you for taking about aging and its pitfalls plus the highs.
What about reading books by 10 new authors or trying 10 new places for coffee – I must admit one of my favourite ways to pass an hour.
I do love my winter coats and was bemoaning the fact that our Autumn is so mild, but husband reminded me that our Spring is often freezing and that we have cold weather into May! So seasons have slightly slipped, well certainly in the UK they have.
Ageing is absolutely not for softies and we have to keep keeping on! And that really has to be the attitude to take.
I did think about books but I read all the time, so it would be nothing new and I love having coffees out so they are not on the list because I do these all the time. And indeed I agree, where would we be without a coffee out and about!
Thanks Linda 😊
How about 10 things you’ve never done before? Be a zoo keeper for a day, feed the fish at Brighton aquarium, walk a llama, try bell ringing, take a singing lesson, stand at Speakers Corner and spout about anything you want, walk on the glass floor at the Spinnaker Tower, make a piece of jewellery , try weaving on a full size loom ?
Pay 10 random people a genuine compliment – be the reason they smile that day🤓
Oh that’s lovely but I actually do that all the time. I always compliment people especially if they have a great outfit. I think it warrants it anyway, but it is nice to see how people react. Often they don’t expect that, and I often get, oh you’ve made my day! So it is a good thing to do.
Thanks Margo 😊
I love these suggestions for any age, Holly!
Wow, those are great things to do and actually I have decided that the 10th activity is 10 new activities! I will say what I will attempt in the next blog.
Thanks so much Holly 😊
Love your ideas Penny – I may borrow some of them myself, life feels rather lacklustre and I need to get back on track. You are so right – 80, or any age which indicates getting older, is just a number. I detest the way we treat older people in this country, so different from other cultures, and it never used to be like this. Enjoy your planning and your activities as they begin to come to fruition.
Hi and yes, there’s a lot of ageism around, some of which I think people are unaware, especially in the GP surgery! So we have to assertive and keep on keeping on, and treat 80 as just another birthday and indeed look to breaking out of all the ‘comfortable’ things we do. I may not achieve all of those activities, but I’m looking forward to the challenge.
Thanks Sylvia 😊
Great post Penny. Glad you’ve been having more positive experiences with health professionals. I wonder if ageism is endemic in the NHS and less so in the private sector ? Ive entered a new bracket, having hit 65, with the NHS. Their comms have changed. No more emails but texts, and they ask if I need someone to accompany me to the surgery!!
Liking your 80 things. I love what Deb (Deb’s World) did with her 65 things, but many of them involved travel adventures which I’d never get Mr Mutton to do, unless they involved a bike!
Ah yes, getting the husband to do different things is a challenge I am familiar with 😁
I think the NHS has age cut-off points and if you are over a certain age a different set of criteria kicks in. That is so wrong and I intend to tell them so!!!
Actually, this was a really great post to write and I really enjoyed thinking up the different ‘new things’.
Thanks Gail 😊
Thanks for today’s blog, Penny. Good to see you looking so well and lovely. How nice to get those compliments.
I love the tan/brown coat with the beret and colourful scarf – excellent colours for you, I think.
As you know, I’m also knocking 80 and rather like the idea of 80 challenges. But first, my challenge is to get rid of toothache. By the time my mother and grandmother reached 80, their own teeth were long gone – and forgotten. So, my second challenge is to keep all of mine that are still with me.
For the last few years, my cousins and I have had a WOTY (word of the year), indicating our intention or aim for the coming 12 months. Mostly, we manage to stay with it, but life/stuff can get in the way or the word is no longer appropriate. Other times, we’ve forgotten our word. I haven’t forgotten mine this year – focus: but, for various reasons, I’ve not kept to it entirely. Or perhaps I lost focus! 😉
So, if I decide to do the 80 challenges, which I’m tempted to do, I should get started – and compile my list: strike while I’m focused!
All the best, Mary
Will your 80 activities start in January 2026?
It will be o exciting to see what you choose its really captured my imagination. My husband is 70 in February and we’ll be thinking what he wants to do. Little gems can be found in so many unexpected places.
I am starting to tackle the list now as I am in my 80th year. It was great fun to think this through and write the list. Go for it Lindsey – you’ll enjoy doing it.
Thanks 😊
Hi Mary, and actually those photos were from last winter. Think I look slightly different now because of the challenging year!
So sorry about the toothache. Teeth!!! They are a nuisance as we age. My teeth are aesthetically awful and would shock Americans, what with one cracked tooth front and centre, and the colour also not being the best, so I really ought to do something about this, but first things first and that is the state of my joints and balance. These are my priorities.
Love your WOTY. Never did one myself until this year and it has been Perseverance. Which is totally what I have had to do, all things considering.
It was fun to write the list as we, Bill as well, have definitely been stuck in our ways . Go for it Mary and thanks so much as ever for your comment 😊
Jodie has a similar list for her 60th and I think it is a great way to look forward to a milestone year. I am trying to make changes in my daily life now so that when I get to 60, 70 and 80, I will be in better health, mobile… as far as I can depending on circumstances.
http://www.chezmirellefashiontravelmom.com
Yes, I’ve seen this doing the rounds and read Jodie’s this week and told her I would be blogging about the list. It was great fun to do and write it all down.
Thanks Mireille 😊
Hello Penny,
How positive and forward thinking to plan so many new things for your birthday next year.
Turning 80 isn’t too bad! I am lucky to be active and reasonably fit at 82 and don’t think much about my age, but consider any extra years as a bonus to be enjoyed. Fortunately, I am still able to drive and this allows me to have a wider range of activities. For instance, my interest in botany takes me out into the countryside weekly with friends to record wild plants; today we recorded over 150 different species, we send our records to the County recorders and then they are forwarded to a national database.
I realise that the time will come when I am no longer able to drive but I aim to continue my visits to art galleries, talks and museums using public transport and make good use of my rail and bus passes. Also, over the past few years I have made sure to belong to a variety of local groups, mostly art and craft ones but there are plenty of other options in my small town. Everyone is very welcoming and as well as introducing new skills and ideas this has enabled me to have a good local social network. My activities are informal and inexpensive, which I prefer, rather than signing up and paying for a course which would require attending every session to keep up. I meet friends on a regular basis for coffee, a chat and games such as Scrabble and Rummikub. Belonging to local groups gives a structure to my week so on most days I have something to look forward to; this has been especially helpful this year as my husband died in the spring.
My suggestion for your “Eighty New Things” list would be to research local groups which have activities which interest you and give one or two a try.
I think that your way of life is absolutely perfect and so heart-warming and inspiring , in fact you are quite the role model for me! This is the way to live and I thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Your suggestion re: local groups, is absolutely the way I ought to go, but I have to recover fully. Despite the diagnosis I still have quite a balance issue. But I am thinking of adding 10 new experiences to the list which could include many different t things including going to/joining a local group. Btw, I have already booked a talk at the Depot (our independent cinema) and yay, I haven’t done that before, so that’s one ticked on the 10 talks!
I have to say it was so good to think about this list. And I have really appreciated all the suggestions, particularly yours. Thanks again 😊
Love your post Penny.
You are always so positive even when your health has been a challenge. I love the idea that was suggested to compliment 10 strangers . Wouldn’t that make them happy. I am 75 and I still work 12 hours a week in the NHS. I see how the elderley are not always treated as they should be . Often spoken down to or ignored. I try to keep active, but it doesn’t come quite as easy as it used to.
I love your style . Xx
Hi Angela, and OMG (apologies for the language) but the ageism I’ve experienced from the GP surgery and several different GPs has not been good, not one bit. Not so, however from the private consultants, which I think interesting and a bit sad because I suppose this is because I am paying??
Good for you for doing what you do. There was a retired nurse (who was the same age as you) who held my hand when I had the cataract op. She was great.
Thanks so much for the comment and the kind words 😊
I love that you’re getting more ear piercings! I have been thinking about more myself. How about ten tattoos? Just kidding…that would be a lot of money and a fair amount of pain! I have been thinking about having Dylan Thomas’ “Do Not Go Gentle Into the Night” quote tattooed on my wrist. I just have to figure out which part as I love the entire poem. I am glad you’re getting some respect from people in the private sector who recognize how much you work at being healthy and fit. Love your signature color coat! I always think of you when I see yellow!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
I did have pierced ears but they closed up years ago – don’t know why. I think it was when I grew my hair long. I have decided I need to have earrings again so it’s the plain ordinary piercing for one pair of earrings. But hey – new beginning!
I haven’t got any tats and as the state of my skin is not good, I don’t think I’ll get one. But just might get a temporary one to see what they do. That might be a good idea to try.
It is such a shame that the ordinary everyday health services that we all love is rushed off its feet and doesn’t think beyond – oh she’s this age. I don’t truly blame them but will tell them that attitude costs nothing.
Yellow is the best! 😃
Thanks Marsha 😊
You are such an incredible inspiration and talk about us being on the same page.
At first I had the idea to visit 10 new stores (but I changed that only because I don’t need to buy more things…but hey, it’s a good one.)
Or try the 10 new recipes like I am. I have to admit, it’s been nice to push us out of our normal recipes that we always make.
XOXO
Jodie
I saw your post but had seen similar posts too, and this is what makes blogging such a positive arena. Good things get written about and we pass it on.
Not doing much around food at the moment as because of my recent diagnosis (Vestibular migraine) I have to find out more about the migraine triggers in my diet. So new foods will have to wait, but might come later as I have decided that the last on the list will be 10 new experiences, which could include eateries.
But wasn’t the list fun to think about and write!
Thanks Jodie 😊
I am impressed with the idea of 80 ways to celebrate your 80th. birthday Penny . I will follow with interest as you achieve these. Of course 10 new outfits had to be included.
So glad you are slowly seeing improvement on your balance issues and have had positive engagement with some health professionals .
Your Winter coats always look so good on you. As you are having a mild Autumn we have had the coldest Spring for many years.
Oh interesting that you are having a cold Spring. Funnily enough Bill reminded me that here in the UK seasons seem have slipped as it is usual now that Spring is really cold right up into May and even June while autumn is now a mild season. But this coming week the temperatures will go down a bit. And. Coats might get worn!!!
Balance is slow to improve but it is improving. I think the diagnosis is the best thing – it’s given me a really good feeling to know more about this (annoying) issue.
Thanks so much Jill 😊
I am impressed with the idea of 80 ways to celebrate your 80th. birthday Penny . I will follow with interest as you achieve these. Of course 10 new outfits had to be included.
So glad you are slowly seeing improvement on your balance issues and have had positive engagement with some health professionals .
Your Winter coats always look so good on you. As you are having a mild Autumn we have had the coldest Spring for many years.
A great post Penny! I am 84 and probably will not add new activities to my to do list but want to continue to enjoy the activities I do now. going to my lectures, dinner with friends, stuff with my family. I used to do regular horseback riding and as you know I still have a pony. My daughter is her main rider but when she is done I do get on and walk her out. I do try to do this on a regular basis. I have noticed that getting off her is the hardest part but I’m working on this. Regarding agism. This is actually kind of funny but it hurt a bit as well. Yesterday I went to my dentist for a regular cleaning. There was a new technician who did the actual cleaning before the dentist, who I have been seeing for years looks at the state of my teeth. She was a lovely woman and really tried to make it a good experience. I had become friendly with the previous technician and asked about her. She had decided that the trip from her home was getting too be too much. I mentioned that I was familiar with the area where she lived as years ago I had a boyfriend who had a boat on the lake there and spent a summer with him boating and swimming, taking the boat to dinner at lakeside restaurants. The relationship kind of fell apart at the end of the season. The technician seemed to find the idea that I had a boyfriend funny. It was a while ago but still, is it a ridiculous notion that I might still want a romantic relationship. I certainly do not think she meant to be hurtful, but it stung a little. It had been warm here well into autumn but the last week has been quite chilly, even a snow flurry a few days ago. With love from New York, Darby
Dear Darby hi and many apologies for taking so long to reply. Just been out and for several days only at my desk a very short time.
First things first, we’re off to London today and for a change it’s quite chilly. But it should be, it is mid November. And I think your cultural life is far richer than mine. Not sure why as there is a lot in Lewes so the list is to shake things up. How lovely that you still have a pony.
And oh my word, how sad that this technician had so little imagination and actually some sense and knowledge of life. I wonder what she will think when she is in her 80s when it happens to her. For heaven’s sake we all had boyfriends!!! I feel for you and think that the technician needs some kind of training.
Very best and love from Penny 😊
Love your attitude, love your clothes. I am only 71, I should have done something like this when I turned 70. What about 10 new foods to try?
Hi Janey and it was such a lovely thing to do to write this list, it was really enjoyable, so you could do something like this list at any age.
Foods will have to wait as because of the diagnosis I have of Vestibular Migraine (who knew) I am aiming to find out what foods trigger migraine. But I am going to add 10 new experiences that might include a new restaurant.
Thanks so much 😊
Dear Penny
Love, love, LOVE your last photo. I think this is just about the nicest outfit I’ve seen you in! Smashing!
I also love your 80s plan – a great idea! My own choices would be singing lessons, learning to play my grandmother’s mandolin, and learning to ride a bike. (I know, scary!)
I can well understand Darby feeling hurt by the attitude of her dental technician. Oh, the thoughtlessness of younger people, or even the not-so-young. Disgraceful. Ignore her with your usual grace, Darby, and don’t give up! Loving and being loved is not the sole prerogative of the young, they did not invent it!
And Penny, Good Luck with The List!
Zepherine x
Thanks sooo much Zepherine but that photo was taken last year! Think I’ve changed somewhat with this year I’ve had!!! But I’m working on it!!! Onwards and upwards etc.
That list was the greatest fun to do and no matter the state of my health I am starting the list from now on and hope to achieve a lot of it by the end of my 81st year! did it because My Word of the Year has been Perseverance, next year’s WOTY will be Rebuild.
I too share Darby’s feeling – geepers, we all had boyfriends at some point!!! How ignorant was she – and rude!
Thanks so much Zepherine 😊